Killer Queen
by prentiss-be-mine
Summary: Snow's thoughts and change of morality after Cora's death. Spoilers for 'The Miller's Daughter'


**Couldn't get this one out my head. **

**Don't own the _Once_ characters. **

Snow can't stand the crowd that looms in her room, the mixed gazes of sympathy and satisfaction. She hates the praise that she gets from the murder she orchestrated, the congratulatory dinner she gets in her honor. David tells her that she did it for her family, that the deed needed to be done or they would all burn at the hands of the deceased queen. Grumpy is more crass with his words, exclaiming that the old hag deserved it, but his means of defending her are all the same.

And it's disgusting.

It should all sound right- good wins, evil loses. But when evil and good commit the same act, who constitutes them as such? Who has the divinity to be deemed good and evil? Snow knows damn well had this been Regina, had she somehow outwit Emma into killing her, that she'd be pronounced unforgivable and war would outbreak. So when her family huddles around her discussing Regina's threat and strategy- all muffled in Snow's self-deprecating mind- it makes her wonder _why_ are they on the negative. Why aren't they deeming _her_ a murderer when they've done it countless times to Regina. Didn't they do that because that's what Regina _is_? Then if that's the case they should be throwing her in jail, subjecting her to exile, branding her with repulsive names- something. That's what _good_ people do, right? They banish away the evil to make the world a better place. But the very way she is banishing is by committing the very act she speaks against. It's a hypocrisy that her family could not see. They claim it to be a means to an end, but isn't that what Regina has been doing? Avenging the death of her fiancée- _another_ loss orchestrated by her, albeit it unintentionally. Why didn't anyone tell Regina it's okay to kill? Who was on _her_ side?

No one.

Regina is utterly alone while she has everyone in her corner.

Tears continue to fall as she gazes out of her window, just waiting, _anticipating_, for Regina's vengeance. Maybe with her heart ripped out her chest, this numbing throb of guilt and hatred will seize. That she could move on with the thought that she isn't good, that she is one of them- the bad guys Henry reads about, before the darkness compasses her whole.

Of course Regina won't make it this easy.

It's been a week since she's seen Regina. A week since she witnessed a scared child desperate for her mother to revive, tell her everything is alright, that she'll make it better. A week since she watched the realization dawn on that dark face, the awareness of the betrayal and anger stoning through the anguish as those brown eyes- nearly black and dilated- pointed at her.

She sees them when she sleeps. Hears the low, dangerous snarl of Regina's threat when she does the dishes.

Regina _believed _her. Regina did the _good_ thing. With the pretensions of her mother being loved versus the Queen becoming the dark one, she chose the former. She chose love and happiness over destruction and chaos.

Love. That's all Regina's ever lived for. That's all she ever wanted from Daniel, from Henry. And Snow sniffed out that desperation and twisted it for her own agenda, to keep her own hands clean.

She knew it would tear Regina to pieces, but she just didn't ... care.

_I'm a monster._

A sob rips from her throat, but Snow doesn't find it in her to muffle it. Maybe she needs to hear the evidence of her wrongdoing so others could understand that a punishment is deserved. Maybe her family and friends and husband can see that she isn't squeaky clean. That maybe she deserves the pain that grabs in the hollow curve of her ribcage.

But that won't happen.

Snow isn't stupid. Naive, misguided, and damn self-righteous, but never stupid. She knows they won't understand because had it been anyone else, had it been Charming or Emma or Ruby, she would be saying the same thing that's been shoved down her throat this past week. She would simply point out that they were good guys doing the world a favor, banishing evil one life at a time.

She would still believe she's good.

A hand, large with untold stories of its roughness, caresses her cheek and she knows it's her husband's. She knows it's his silent way of consoling her, reminding her that he'll protect her from the telling destruction of the future. Maybe she doesn't want his protection, she wants to yell back. Maybe she wants to feel hatred and disgust for herself. Maybe she didn't want to feel like the hero or the victim.

Is this what Regina feels? When they told her to just _do_ the right thing, and ignore the pain that's within her. To ignore the pain of her son's separation, to forget the despair of her true love and move on to be her mother? Isn't that what Charming and the others are doing now? Forcing her to feel victorious and guilt-free when she wants to wallow in abhorrence?

Is this what Regina felt her whole adult life? Is _this_ the reason for her wicked ways?

Did _they_ make the evil queen?

**Please let me know what you think in a review :)**


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